Resident Reflection: Walking

Walking

When my heart is broken
And from my tears, my pillow’s soakin’
When I chase deceiving brass token
From every dream I am awoken

When my ways have me cloakin’
And my days have me chokin’
When I’m abused and shooken
You can find my story without hardly lookin’

And ladies, I ain’t joking’
The frog I’ve kissed is still croaking’
But behind me is a Prince of peace evoking
And when he has spoken
The demons will stop poking’

I am is faithful
See Abel offer something that ain’t cheap
See Noah build an ark without a peep
See elderly Sarah hold her baby and weep
See Abraham offer his son like a sheep
See Moses lead slaves through red Sea deep
See the walls of Jericho fall in a heap
See Rehab hide the good spies even though she was a harlot.
He keeps all of His promises
And with your heart He never compromises
Yahweh is a faithful God

Education Update: Parenting Class

This past week we've been studying the roles and responsibilities of parenting by using this curriculum.  We think this topic is very important not only for those residents that are expecting a baby and need to be preparing for the job but also for the rest of the residents who are benefitted from an honest evaluation of how they allowed themselves to be parented.

Biblically, we understand that since the very beginning of human history on earth we have been in a position of needing the leadership, protection, and provision from God as our Father.  We were designed to flourish under his authority, need his counsel, and revel in his care.

Interestingly, we don't often make the connection that being the kind of parents God asks us to be allows us to grandly demonstrate his parenting over us to the rest of creation.  This lesson series is intended to help make that connection for the girls at VOH.

Quite honestly, it's one of the harder lesson series to teach.  It's easy to see the Biblical standard of parenting and then compare your experience against the standard in an unkind and judgmental way.  It's also hard to confront past problems, especially when abuse or trauma has centered around your relationship with your parents.  But even with all of those "hard" truths, it is so good for the VOH girls to learn what is really required of parenting, what kind of truths children need to be taught, what loving discipline looks like, and to finally understand the whole goal of parenting and being parented...being brought more and more into the image of Christ as the way of being most pleasing to God.

Please be praying for the girls as they digest what they are learning this week, as they process how their hearts have mishandled previous opportunities, and how they need to plan for future growth. 

Deuteronomy 10:17-19 "For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt."

Graduate: Sarah

Sarah's Move-In Date - July 15, 2009

Sarah's Graduation Date - August 13, 2010

Sarah's graduation testimony

As I thought through what to share with you today, I became overwhelmed, as a detail-oriented person, in thinking about attempting to summarize a year of my life of learning, growing, and changing. From the day I walked into VOH, it’s been like drinking from a fire hydrant! So I wonder, what direction do I take with the few minutes that I have, and how can I choose what’s important, because to me it was ALL important since it played a significant part in bringing me to where I am today.

God revealed A LOT about the heart to me, and showed me what a calloused, prideful, and completely selfish person I had become. He not only showed me what was in my heart, but because of what was in my heart was the reason my life looked the way that it did. When our focus becomes “out of alignment” so to speak, it affects every area of life.

One of the biggest things that hit me when I came to VOH, was that life is NOT ABOUT ME! I was on the throne of my heart rather than God, and I hadn’t even recognized it in that light. I was so focused on perfecting and preserving my outer appearance, that I’d become oblivious to what’s been in front of me all along. C.S. Lewis says “we are like an ignorant child who want to go on making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.” John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

My life became a repeated cycle of eating disorders and materialistic addictions, and from there things just kept snowballing. Relationships went nowhere because they weren’t centered around Christ, and friendships were for the most part superficial, being connected mainly by fun. Attitude problems, ungratefulness, manipulation, dishonestly, and rebellious behavior overflowed from what was going on in my heart—I wanted what I wanted. What I was doing was a result of what I wanted, and I wanted those things because I was deceived into believing they were giving me something I couldn’t live without, when in fact the ONLY thing the I can NOT live without is Christ.

My problem did not begin with poor eating habits, it began in my mind, when one little thought after another slipped by, unfiltered through truth, and began to plant themselves in my heart. From there, the roots grew, and bad fruit was produced from a bad tree. What we worship is the focal point of everything we do, and out of my selfishness, I was giving myself to idols. Being uprooted and totally cut off from many of my idols and my lifestyle, was exactly what I needed. God strips us of our worthless idols because they rob Him of his glory, they rob us of an abundant and fruitful life, and blind us to truth. I was afraid to completely let go because I thought I was somehow benefiting from them. I Samuel 12:21 “Do not turn away after USELESS idols. They can do you NO good, nor can they rescue you because they are USELESS.”

I found myself not really knowing how I got to the point that I was at, but knowing that who I was, was not who I was meant to be, and the lifestyle I’d created for myself just engulfed me. I realized that I’m not exactly making the best choices and I should think about my choice of lifestyle. It was time to actually DO something about it. I couldn’t continue the rest of my life on a downward spiral. Where would I be 5 years from now? I had to think about what I wanted my life to look like, what I’m really about, what defines me, what my life NEEDS to look like in order to glorify God. Once it hit me that God IS life, and that’s the only purpose as to why I’m here, it changes how I live life, how I handle life, and what I strive to obtain and achieve. I had been spiritually starved because of the things I was choosing for myself; when we stop trying to cram everything else inside and turn to him, he fills us to satisfaction and completion. Our hearts are naturally hard which is why it's so important to daily immerse ourselves with truth. A need for God is a strength, not a weakness, because when you lean on the one who sustains all things, you become strong. I constantly need God in everything. I need him to heal me on the inside, to help me on the outside, and to make my life fruitful.

Everything apart from Christ leads to an empty life. Often, its takes us stumbling through the same lesson over and over and over again to really actually get it. My heart was deceived in believing that appearance gained approval, acceptance, and love—that’s what the world begs you to believe. But what happens when all of that fades? Looks don’t last forever…you can put all your time, energy, and money into trying to maintain or obtain a certain look and body type, but you’re just fighting against a never-ending battle, and losing against the process of time. Once you’re 80, you're 80…you don’t want to be the same person you were when you were 18…the goal is to keep moving forward and growing on the inside, not preserving the outside, that cannot be preserved…and if that’s all you ever lived for, what type of investment will your life have been?—one that focused on and invested everything in something so temporary and superficial, or one that has been a journey of growth in the things that will last for eternity—that’s what matters to God… I Peter 3:3-4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your INNER self, the UNFADING beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

My phase 3 didn’t go entirely the way I’d expected and more less hoped it would go…it was much harder than I anticipated. I think that I tried to intertwine my hypothetic perfect little world with reality, and reality reminded me of square one: its not about me! It’s not about getting everything to line up perfectly, or to fix and change people and make them who I want them to be; it’s not about even my own life being what I consider to be ideal.

I almost had forgotten, with being in such a filtered environment for 9 months, how hard the world presses and how many things life bombards you with, and all the distractions that are fighting for your heart. It’s not a game, and its not just the “busyness of life” that many refer to, it’s a very real, very present spiritual war. Satan is subtly deceptive and knows our vulnerabilities. I’m so thankful though, that my heart rests in the hands of a very powerful and sovereign God who loves and protects me, and wants only good for me. I desire to be fully committed to the Lord; in my humanity my heart will always be divided, but the Lord wants to be our help… in 2 Chronicles 16:9 it says “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him…”

A need for God is a strength, not a weakness, because when you lean on the one who sustains all things, you become strong. I constantly need God in everything. I needed him to heal me on the inside, to help me on the outside, and to make my life fruitful.

All of this is exactly what God planned for me though. It’s been a daily battle of dying to self and living a life of humility as Christ did, embracing God’s infinite grace, and an on-going process of learning to have patience with God’s time table, trusting in his sovereignty, growing in faith, love, and wisdom. I wish life was easy and I wish I had the answers to all life’s questions and uncertainties, but I don’t, and therefore since I cant rely on myself, it's been teaching me to rely on the one who does—the one who gave me life in the first place, who knows every detail and has something great in store—Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

So I never thought for a second that it’d be an emotional time when it came time for me to move on from this place, but it became my second familiar, and I developed friendships that are rooted and solidly grounded in our Savior. I learned what biblical friendships look like as well as the importance of them. There were times in the program when I was sure I would give up, but there were 3 things I told myself in those times:

1. Hard isn’t bad, its just hard (a quote from an intern at one point), and it’s the hard things in life that shape us and grow us. God knows exactly what it takes to draw us to himself and to make us more like his son. Rom. 5:3-5 “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” If we keep our eyes fixed on the cross rather than our circumstances, we will always be sure of God’s love for us and his purpose for our life.

2. WHAT am I committed to? My series of poor choices which became poor habits in my life led me to seek guidance and counsel, and not just any counsel, but counsel that was fastened tight to biblical truth. I was tired of spinning in circles, and being enslaved to the desires of my deceitful heart. God led me to VOH. It’s probably one of the biggest commitments I’ve ever made so far, and the hardest, but it was well worth it. The things in life that are the most worth it are also usually the hardest.

3. Giving up on the program meant missing out on finding true freedom, and it also meant not having the things in common with the people who mattered most to me.

Romans 6:21-22 “What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.”

This program was so much more than I was aware that I was walking in to. My wrong perspective on Christianity skewed perspectives in other areas, but as my understanding of God and his love broadened, the gospel has become so much deeper. In all of his grace and love for me, He snatched me from the waves of life that were tossing me back and forth, and stood me on solid ground.

Resident Reflection: Book Review

For each of the residents at VOH, one-on-one Biblical Counseling is a major part of the recovery process. And for each counselor, homework is a major part of Biblical Counseling. Each of the girls are assigned indiviualized assignments depending upon their need.


Recently one of the girls at VOH was assigned to read Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave and write a book review for it. Here's what she came up with ...

Addiction: A Banquet in the Grave Summary

Will we worship ourselves and our own desires, or will we worship the true God? What is "Addiction"? Is it sin, sickness, or both? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an addict as "to devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or excessively." It also defines worship as to "idolize." So an addiction isn't really a disease is it? It's worship. It is giving your time and efforts to something and in doing so it takes a hold of you through habitual acts. In other words it enslaves you. Being a slave isn't a disease. It's when something or someone takes hold of you until you are freed.

The beauty in being an addict is that you CAN have freedom. The problem is most people don't know where to find that freedom. That freedom is found in Christ.

Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" Addictions stem from the heart and if Jeremiah 17:9 is correct, which I believe it is, then how can we even know where to begin the road to sobriety? Christ! He is the only one who can show us where our desires truly lie. Addicts need the power of God! I Corinthians 1:18 says "For the word of the cross is foolishness for those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." When we do not have the power of God it is nearly impossible to overcome enslavement and if we do overcome one addiction most of the time we will run to another.

Our addictions must be traced to our hearts and what they desire. Our hearts are designed to desire God but due to the Fall, we try and find satisfaction in creation instead of in our Creator. This is called sin and sin leads to bondage which leads to an addiction which ultimately leads to death. On page 66, Edward Welch describes the descent into our addictions. It begins when we are unprepared or unaware of our steps. This then leads to the friendship phase. The addict believes they have control and it's nothing serious then the addiction takes root. This is called the infatuation stage. Every need, want, longing, is found in the addictive behaviour. Finally addicts become abject worshippers. Romans 6:19 says "You used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness." Our idols originally offer the world but all it dishes out is hell. II Peter 2:19 says "for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him."

Our only way out of our slavery is to have Christ as our Master.

A person deep into addiction is desperate and in deep pain but, most of the time, would rather cover up their problem. Usually it's for reasons such as shame, fear, or many other reasons. To confront someone with their problem is the first step in helping them, but it MUST be out of love and not annoyance or anger. The addict is already at a low point, they need love and guidance not condemnation. An addiction is not an easy road and it takes a lot from everyone involved. I Corinthians 13:4 says "Love is patient, love is kind."


The best way to know how to love someone is by getting to know them, know their story. Everyone has a story and everyone's story is unique. Learning someone's story will also allow you to find out whether they are a believer or follower of Christ. If they are not they need to know the truth because without Jesus you can do nothing (Colossians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.")

If and when the person receives Christ or knows Him, he or she should learn practical theology not only to know the Lord better but to fear Him. Chapter 8 says, "As we grow in knowing the Lord, we do something. We respond. We can't help but respond." AMEN! God is powerful and with His power He moves mountains. When we begin to realize life is about Christ and not about us anymore, our desires and focus changes. When we learn about forgiveness and what it really means then we can't help but love Him even more. We replace our addictions and idols for an all powerful wonderful Saviour who frees us from bondage. The addict cannot be free until he or she understand and realizes that.

It is essential during this process that the addict turns from lies. Jesus says in John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Satan is the father of lies so it only makes sense that lies enslave you. Jesus sets us free!

Most addicts will think that once you have the answer then they are cured but it also takes effort. Yes, Jesus does free us but that freedom is shown in many ways. One major way is self-discipline. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." God enables us to be disciplined.

This is war. We must fight! It's not a war of flesh but a "war against your soul" ( I Peter 2:1). We must fight with hope because Satan has already been defeated! Do not give him what is not his! Victory is ours! The only way to keep up the fight is to pace yourself around the body of Christ! God's grace is sufficient and with His grace He gives freely! He gives us one another to fight!

Resident Reflection: Processing Salvation

Art is used as a tool at VOH to help the girls process what they are learning. In this blog post you will see the art of one girl who studied the truths about God for weeks on her own, and as a result made the decision to accept Jesus' sacrificial death on her behalf in order to be able to have a relationship with God.

This art shows the journey. It is dated and shows the progression of thought she was going through as she processed truth about God, truth about her nature, the truth of Jesus Sacrificial death for her, and finally the personalized decision she made to accept Jesus as savior.

Shared with permission...

Resident Reflection: The Roses That Never Died

shared with permission...


Alone with the creaking of rusty chains, a girl swings.
Head bowed, eyes downcast, one foot slowly pushes back and forth.
The silence creeps in and starts to weight down on her heavy heart.
Bitter tears flood the girl's pale face.
Afraid of the world she built, the one of regret and dpression,
She's come to find that she no longer knows how to carry on.

A coward's choice could be her biggest achievement in life.

All it takes is one slight motion and an explosion to the ends of the earth.
The gun is cold and heavy in her hand as she presses it to the side of her face.
Suddenly the girls finds that she is no longer alone.
She feels the presence of someone behind her.
Startled, the girl turns to see a man with gentle eyes and a sad smile.
She starts to back away but the man hold out his hands to her and the sight of them stops her.
On each of his wrists is a circular scar,
Almost as if something had been driven through there.
The man quietly takes the gun from her and throws it behind him.

"Come to me, my child, and you shall have a changed life.
Never again will you feel unloved, for I shall always be with you
Confess and ask forgiveness for your past, and it will be forgotten.
For I died to save you from yourself and the sin of this world.
Come to me and be changed into something beautiful."

With tears streaming down her face, the young girls chooses life in the arms of her Savior, Jesus Christ

Resident Reflection: GPS...Revisited

GPS...Revisited
by Kate

details.
i get so caught up in them.
Everything I do.
i could memorize dates of the entirety of ancient Greece,
but if you asked me to explain Greek history to you?
nope.
not a chance.
i always thought myself to be a "right-brained" thinker,
you know, the creative, artsy-fartsy type who plays her clarinet down by the river.
but now?
I'm not so sure.
Somehow, between 29 years of Christian schools, church, Sunday School, family devotions, and youth group, i stuck God into a little box labeled 'details.'
Sure, i let Him out when it was convenient - to answer questions in Sunday School, or to spout off chatecisms at my confirmation.
but to let Him ALL the way out of the box?
that would be too big, too confusing.
because God is huge.
and i couldn't handle that.
and then i got this roadmap
better yet, a GPS.
i could see where God had been, where He is now, and better yet, what the final destination is
i can see how the whole trip fits together.
it's like looking at a whole mountain range, not just one peak.
i can see the very beginning, when it was God alone.
i can see creation, the fall.
i can see the promise God made that he would redeem man.
i can see the ages in history of Kings and prophets who watched and waited for this promised Messiah.
And then?
He came.
Died.
And rose, defeating death, and with it the sins of all men.
i live in an age where we once again wait, this time for the return of this Messiah who defeated death
my heart pounds in anticipation for the day He will tke me with Him to heaven to reign with Him.
but my heart breaks for those who rejected Him and will be left to suffer the reign of satan.
but my hope?
my lies in the big picture.
not the God-in-a-box I once imagined.
My hope lies in the wedding gown i will wear
and the kind i will worship forever.
my hope lies in the pormise of no evil, no sufering
only perfect communion with my God
my BIG God
my eternal God
my un-boxed God.

Shared with permission. Written by one of the VOH girls upon learning about God's Plan for the Ages.

Resident Reflection: This time one year ago...

This time one year ago I was planning how to kill myself. Being alive in 2010 was my greatest fear. My despair became desperate as the clouded thinking of 5 years enveloped me.

Shortly before my plan was ready to put into action, I was stunned by my parents giving me the ultimatum of checking into a psych ward or coming to Vision of Hope. I had never heard of Vision of Hope and the thought of coming here was frightening. My trip from my home state was miserable in every way.

Vision of Hope has astounded me from the first time I walked in the doors. The staff's commitment to love and not let go of anyone, to never give up no matter how tough someone tried to be, and to speak truth no matter how uncomfortable the situation has been a daily picture to me of God's faithfulness.

In the past 7 months, I have finally learned how to connect the theological mandate of glorifying God to the everyday activities of life. For the first time what I had always "known" was the point of life became a desire of my heart and found practical outlet in my life.

Life became bigger than my own comfort, satisfaction, or pleasure. I am no longer trapped by the impossible struggle to be satisfied by what I can see, taste, or touch.

My purpose of loving my mighty and marvelous Savior by obeying His desires for my life is slowly being fulfilled one action, one day at a time.

One of my biggest challenges has been learning to face hard things. I've spent my life trying to avoid, ignore, or cover up conflict and pain. Slowly I'm beginning to see God as good enough and powerful enough to allow and use every difficulty in my life. Rather than run from hardship, I can use it to reflect who my God is.

As I've learned more of the gracious, faithful love of my Savior and powerful, unchanging grasp of my Creator the more futile and empty I see living for my own gratfication and comfort. Being captured and held by the one who designed me to know Him is so much more than I could ever find on my own.

Vision of Hope has truly been my lifeline. It is not an exaggeration to say I wouldn't be here without it. God is here and working, and I am so grateful to be here.

Counseling Resource: Eating Disorders

We are very much indebted to Elyse Fitzpatrick for her work writing "Love to Eat Hate to Eat." All of the counselors at Vision of Hope use this resource regularly with girls struggling with disorderly eating. It's a great resource. If you'd like to buy a copy you can do so through many online bookstores, including this one connected to us. For less than $5 you can get a resource that can help change your life!

Resident Reflection

Before I came to Vision of Hope my life was spiraling out of control, to a point where I didn't even know what I wanted, I couldn't distinguish a truth from a lie, I hurt people I loved, and as a result, caused myself a lot of hurt.

I wanted to be satisfied, so I crammed whatever I thought would satisfy me into the empty hole in my heart, but, like a Jack-in-a-box, it eventually sprung back up in my face.  Nothing was ever enough.  I grew up around the idea of God, but it just wasn't for me.

After nearly screwing up my life I just wanted everything to stop.  I wanted peace.  I was crying for a change, for things to be different and for help! 

After coming to Vision of Hope I found God and accepted him as my Lord and Savior on September 22, 2009.  I've never been the same.  God is changing me.  That other girl is dead.  She was crucified with Christ. 

God's changing my desires one at a time.  He's teaching me to let go of myself and trust him alone.  It's no easy task.  I wrestle with Him all the time.  I really am working on accepting that I am forgiven, loved, and free.  I have a long way to go, but I am growing more and more everyday.  My hope rests in knowing I am never alone, and Jesus will come back for me.